The Relationships of the Manic Depressive

So here is the first guest post of Australian absence. At the moment all I can say is that the writer is a she. She writes her own blog. But for the reason that her mates might recognise themselves in her writing, she wanted to remain anonymous, just in case someone nosy tripped up on this and caused a fuss.

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The relationships of the manic depressive.

First of all let me apologise for my writing style, it is very much like I think: Scattered and deluded, and under no circumstances should you assume any of this is factual in any other way than it is based on my own experiences and my observations.  And I’m not PC.  You know those who’ve got a problem with calling ‘the mentally interesting’ nuts? Or even the good old-fashioned slate short? All I can say is they’re obviously as sane as a politician.   My personal favourite is the cranially fucked.  That is my realm, my homeland… my favourite kind of people.

The relationships of a manic depressive are going to be as volatile as the mood swings, and unless those around are accommodating, accepting, understanding then feelings will be hurt.  I’ve lost more close friends than I care to think about, but since every few months brings another major event, I’m constantly reminded that those who matter are there through the lot.

Have you ever noticed similar types of people end up together?  Those niches in high-school/college etc tend to be like minded individuals.  However, those who’re left don’t just remain around the edges, they attract, they congregate, they join forces and unleash one giant super-nutso.  I’m not saying this always happens, you often find one wobbler amongst the stable, she tries so damn hard to maintain her grip on reality and the sane do a damn good job of helping her.  One in three?  Look to either side, if they’re okay it’s you?  I look to either side in my friends and I see the people I’ve known for years, a mismatch of personalities and disorders, some diagnosed, some obvious regardless.   My friends and I are crazy, that’s what keeps us sane: an obsessive compulsive, socially anxious, compulsive overeating, depressive.  A severely sleep, anxiety and eating disordered, self harming, substance abusing, depressive.  A cyclothymic/depressive, bulimic.  The guy who was chucked out of ASDA for talking to a loaf of bread.  There’s the sociopath, who you shouldn’t try to talk to.  If you look closely you’ll see the one who looks fine, but secretly harbours the most intense infatuation with every kind of chemical and sex act known, and then there’s the sweet, smart, and pretty one who’s obsession with being perfect makes her mad as a hatter in my book.  My role model, the narcissistic alcoholic and myself… a manic depressive, eating disordered, self harming, substance abusing…   Unless I’m missing out on something there’s not too many other social groups quite so mentally interesting.  No we demolish the statistics.  So I’m not so sure how I should answer the question ‘how does it affect my relationships?’ because honestly I don’t have too many with people who aren’t, or should be on speaking terms with some mental health professional of some sort.

In short, I associate with the crazy and the crazy only.  I converse with others, but I find myself attracted even subconsciously to those on the edges, only finding out weeks maybe months later when I dare to bare that in fact I’m playing safe with my own kind.  Russell Brand, Jim Carrey, celebrity obsessions with the same affliction (yes I know he denies it but seriously he’s got to be lying).  My two favourite bands, their place in my top two assumed way before I had any knowledge that the lead writers are bipolar- Blue October (Justin Furstenfeld) and Say anything (Max Bermis).  And the guys I go for- I have a type, and that’s nuts.  It tends to help, they deal better with volatile than any other, and entertain me when normality just won’t cut it, and they pacify me when I just want to try… or occasionally they love the drama as much as I do!  They’re also pretty accommodating when I fall into hell and others just wouldn’t understand, but again, I don’t specifically go out and look for the craziest guy at the party, I just find them.  Then straight edge annoys the hell outta me, and closed minded make me want to heave.