Same Old

Today has been an odd day. Some I can talk about, some I’m not sure I should/can. I’m actually considering posting privately and handing out the password. Ergh. That makes it sound worse than it is. It’s more to do with me being paranoid rather than anything too sinister.

Anyway. Same mixed mood. Same thoughts, same ideas, same plans.

Saw my soon-to-be ex care co-ordinator this afty. There’s a new CMHT system being put into place and the area is covers has been divided into sectors. I’m in South East and my current care co-ord covers South West, so because I don’t live a little more to the left I’m getting reassigned. If I could, I’d tell you the rather funny but unfortunate name of the bloke I’m getting. It got a fair few giggles out of me, my parents and even my care co-ord when she was telling me.

In a way, I’m a little bit sad that after all this time of resenting her and our appointments, it’s only recently that I’ve begun to open up and I can now actually admit to liking her. This said, it’s pretty bad timing that I’m getting (regrettably) dumped because of CMHT politics and their arsing about nature. I’m also a little worried about talking to a bloke, it’s not like I can ask him about his boyfriend troubles…maybe I can? Who knows, but he definitely won’t understand the menstrual pains of life – though neither do I right now, not since a year or so ago. Maybe this could work out come to think of it!?

She mentioned the Art Psychotherapy. She mentioned something along the lines of, getting assessed and them putting a plan in place for when I get back from Oz. She’s pretty sure I’ll get it anyway.

So summary of none therapy stuff in my life today. This morning I woke up intentionally early with the intention of meeting S for coffee. For some reason though it took me forever and a day to get ready. There was so much in my head and things kept popping into it, like a never ending to-do list. 4 hours later I made it. Went for a coffee and then to S’s flat for a while. He went to work at 2 and I was left to roam Manchester though I ended up at Piccadilly station pacing and then cleared out my bank account in a mad dash around Superdrug. Pretty much anything with a pretty pink discount/offer label was bought.

My minds wired. I’m seeing all sorts. Everything is warping and twisting. I can hear and feel the ants.

I’d quite like to switch off my brain right now.

In other news… look at this adorable cat.